


Complexity

by aboutiny



Category: Cravity (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Crying, Heartbreak, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:36:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24720115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aboutiny/pseuds/aboutiny
Summary: One of them had to man up, and if Serim couldn’t, then Allen would. Because it was necessary, no matter how big the damage would be for the present time.It was the only way to make their future thank them.
Relationships: Allen Ma/Park Serim
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	Complexity

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first time writing fic in English, so I apologize if there's any mistakes in my writing.
> 
> Enjoy!♡

[complexity.]

Allen unlocked the door to his apartment. Technically, it wasn’t his, but he lived there for some period of time already. It was dark when he stepped his right foot inside, no signs of another person than himself. He entered the bedroom on the right, plopping himself on the queen-sized bed there. He felt tired, both physically and emotionally. He wanted to sleep, but he couldn’t and he shouldn’t.

The ash brown haired man stared at the ceiling for a couple moments more before getting up weakly. He began moving his clothes from the closet into the duffel bag which was on the corner of the room a moment before. Things such as footwear, towel, and some more were also put inside the bag.

Finished with everything, Allen plopped himself on the couch as he put the duffel bag next to it. Now he only needed to wait for a certain someone to come home. He was restless despite the comfort the couch gave. His hand fidgeting with his shirt, feeling anxiety taking up his nervous system.

Allen suddenly remembered about the bracelet he always wore. He looked down to see the shiny silver thing on his right wrist. It was a matching bracelet, the other owner happened to be the person who he was waiting for. The bracelet held a special meaning for him because they bought them during their first anniversary, thus it never left his wrist before. A wry smile taken over his lips, then he slowly took it off and put it in the duffel bag before he went back to the lying position.

Around half an hour he waited there in pure silence —except for the sound of his breath, his thumping heart, and his noisy mind— before his ears caught the sound of the apartment door unlocked along with a barely audible sigh. Allen could feel his body tensed up. It was the man he was waiting for, coming back from work. Allen bit his lower lip nervously. He wasn’t ready, he never will, but he had to —at least— pretend he was.

The man put his laptop bag on the table, then he walked to the couch, cupped Allen’s cheek and kissed his forehead gently. Allen smiled at the sight of him, he was still weak of him after all. He changed his position to sitting as he patted the empty space next to him, signalling the blonde haired man to sit there.

This was the man who never failed to make the corner of his lips go up. This was the man who would hug him tight and stroke his head when he was on a verge of breaking down. This was the man where he found his comfort, where he always came back to at the end of a tiring day.

This was Park Serim, the man who Allen loved wholeheartedly.

Serim put his arm on Allen’s shoulder, his fingers played with the latter’s soft strands of ash brown hair. Allen was lying if he said he didn’t like it because in fact, he liked it too much. The soft musky scent made him feel nice and comfortable to the extend he wanted to bury his face on Serim’s chest, hugging him tight as they share warmness through their touch, but he held back that urge.

They enjoyed each other presence in silence, except it wasn’t quite enjoyable. Allen’s mind was busy stringing words to be said while Serim’s mind was trying to figure out the tension lingering in the air. The latter then inadvertently caught the sight of Allen’s bare wrist.

“Oh? You didn’t wear your bracelet.”

Allen blankly stared at his wrist without responding to Serim’s words. The blonde haired man immediately sensed something wrong, especially after he saw the strap of the duffle bag next to the couch. His finger stopped playing with Allen’s hair.

“Allen, please talk to me.”

Allen slowly put down Serim’s arm from his shoulder. As their body now facing each other, Allen sternly stared at Serim who was staring back at him half curious and half cautious. He then wrapped the latter’s hand with his palm.

_Okay, let’s do this._

“Our relationship... we shouldn’t continue it.”

He could feel Serim’s hand tensed, “Don’t say it again. We’ve talked about this bef—”

“Except this time I realized how serious this is.”

He paused for a moment.

“You deserve more than someone who was raised with no parents. You deserve more than someone who doesn’t have a high social status. You deserve more than someone who has a low education level. You deserve more than someone who wasn’t so humiliating in many aspects to be brought to your family dinner.”

Their interlocked gaze was now broken by Allen whose throat suddenly felt tight. 

“You deserved more than _just_ me, a nobody who happen to work at the cafe near your building.”

He had always noticed how small he was compared to Serim and how it made him so insecure during their early days as a couple, but Serim would always reassure him that it wasn’t a big deal. Therefore, he stayed strong and they kept moving forward.

As time goes by, Allen began to notice that it was, indeed, a problem. A huge one.

Serim moved his right hand to lift Allen’s chin, causing the latter stare at him again, “Allen, you’re not a nobody, you’re a somebody, my somebody. People see me merely because of my class, because I have Park as my surname. However, you see who I am as a person. You love me, you care about me, and that’s more than enough.”

He said it tenderly, like he was handling something fragile and afraid of it to be broken, but the truth was Allen was already cracked even before Serim came back from work today. He was only trying to keep it that way for a little longer before he eventually got shattered into pieces. 

Allen appreciated the blonde man’s genuine words, though. He really wanted to believe, that he was a somebody, that mere love was enough for them to continue moving forward, but he knew better that the world didn’t side with them.

“Don’t say it’s more than enough when reality is literally trying to tear us apart. Love alone isn’t enough, and it will never be enough.”

“If we could go through it in the past, then we can go through it in the future too. Facing it together is better than alone because we love and support each other.”

“It doesn’t work like that, Serim.”

Allen wouldn’t lie, he also used to think the hardships wouldn’t matter that much because they have each other. Thinking of it now, he felt so pathetic for believing things like that. He wondered how the universe would react if it was a human, probably laughing furiously until his heart stopped beating.

He took a heavy breath before he began to speak again.

“Your family despised our relationship and the general public saw our relationship as a bad reputation for your company. Even our friends who supported us at first, realized the problem. No one sided with us, Serim. Us being together is literally the main problem, thus both you and I are at risk of losing everything if we prolong our relationship.”

Allen closed his eyes, trying to held back the tears who were threatening to escape from his eyes.

“The world is trying to give us a sign, that our relationship is a mistake, that it wasn’t supposed to happen at the first place. We’re not meant for each other.”

Serim hated those words coming out from Allen’s lips. He hated how accurate they were, but he still didn’t want to cut their tie yet. He knew at this point Allen was practically impossible to persuade, but he still didn’t want to let him go. He wasn’t ready to his life without Allen’s presence in his everyday life. 

“Don’t do this, Allen. You’re hurting and I am hurting too. We both know we didn’t want this.”

Pain was currently carved deeply on Serim’s face, and seeing that made Allen’s heart sank. 

“But we have to, even if we didn’t want to. The world is cruel, it really is, so please..., please don’t make this even harder.”

His voice cracked as he let all his frustration out. He hated himself for hurting both of them, but he got no choice. They shouldn’t stretch their relationship more. One of them had to man up, and if Serim couldn’t, then Allen would. Because it was necessary, no matter how big the damage would be for the present time.

It was the only way to make their future thank them.

“Then let me do this,” Serim looked at him with genuine, tender eyes, “for the one last time.”

The look Serim gave was so inviting. It was like he was trying to bind Allen under his spell, and the latter knew he couldn’t say no to it. He closed his eyes as he let the blonde haired guy lessen their distance before finally felt a pair of soft lips touching his lips, and he instantly felt his heartbeat escalated.

The kiss was raw and full of emotion to the point it was too overwhelming, Everything hurt like hell, just like acid on fresh wounds. However, he didn’t want it to end any soon. He knew it would hurt more if he drowned himself too deep, but he didn’t care.

Allen could feel the other tilted his head, hands cupping both of his cheeks. Some droplets of tears landed on his face, creating small islands on his cheeks. Allen raised the corner of his lips, smiling sadly between the kiss. He wanted to enjoy this moment until the very last second, because he wouldn’t able to feel this again. 

It was long before they finally broke the connection, still maintaining the close distance while panting slightly due to the suffocating thick air. They looked vulnerably messy while staring at each other with an unexplainable gaze.

Serim brought them into a hug, softly stroking Allen’s nape. He said weakly, “I’ll miss you.”

Allen knew it was time to say goodbye, get up, and leave for real, but his tongue felt tight and his body froze. He was practically at the last step, which was leaving the other, yet his body refused to cooperate with his mind.

He decided to let himself melt into the other’s embrace a little longer, enjoying the last moment of them being together before finally broke the hug. He took a deeper look at Serim’s orbs, identified the _I let you go_ gaze there.

_If Serim can do it, so can I._

Allen smiled painfully, “Sorry we couldn’t last. Goodbye, Park Serim.”

He got up from the couch, grabbing the straps of the duffel bag. Every step towards the apartment door was heavy, he felt like it would take a lifetime just to cover that much of distance.

“Allen...”

Allen stopped on his track, still backing the couch.

“Now that you know how our story ended, do you regret it? Writing on my cup?”

The question made Allen reminisced back their first interaction. It was his first day at the cafe when he met a half dead customer —well, he had droopy eyes, dark puffy eye bag, pale skin, and tired face lines— during his night shift, and he just thought it would be great to leave a small paragraph of encouragement on his cup. Never crossed his mind that the simple act would precede all of this.

He let a droplet of tear fall onto his right cheek. 

“Never.”

And after saying his last word, he left the apartment without looking back at the man he just left. His tears burst as soon as he was outside. His legs felt weak, hence he was now a ball of mess seated on the floor. His heart ached so bad, it was like there were thousands of needles piercing it.

He had finally done what must be done, and he was relieved that it was finally over even though he was sure this incident would leave a deep scar inside their heart.

He only hoped their life would slowly recover.

—

_Tracing down our memory lane_

_Welcomed by the sunshine and flowers_

_Walking the pathway with intertwined fingers_

_Heart feeling warm from the inside_

_It was time sun got swallowed by the horizon_

_Leaving us trapped in the darkness_

_Struck by an enormous storm_

_Tore and ripped our world into pieces_

_Until what's left is just the two of us_

  
_Sorry that I let go of your hand_

_Backed out with a painful smile over my lips_

_That way our world can be healed_

_According to our own separate ways_

[complexity.]

**Author's Note:**

> And that is the end of this fic! I'll probably write a sequel for this soon if I feel like doing it.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading! Leave some comments or constructive criticsm perhaps? <3
> 
> ㅡc.


End file.
